earth day run 5k

i quit.

on tuesday when i found out i would, in fact, be in south carolina on saturday, i signed up for a local 5k. i could've signed up for the half, but for once i had a voice of reason and only committed myself to the 5k. i haven't ran 13 miles since the goofy challenge in january, and i know i am too competitive with myself to accept what would have definitely been a slower time. (not to mention a much hillier course).

so there i was this morning, ready to run a 5k, but still nervous as anything of course. let's come right out with it. i sucked. i did terrible. sure i pr'd, but it wasn't good enough. it was about 20 seconds faster than my previous pr, which was from when i was not running as much (~20-30 mpw then vs ~40-50 mpw now) and not doing speed work. so, i just really expected a lot more out of myself.

i could come up with plenty of excuses/explanations for sucking, but it doesn't make me content with my performance...

• i ate a "grilled chicken salad" for dinner last night from the grocery store (aka 4 nibbles of chicken)
• it was 80+ degrees
• i haven't ran a hill since moving to kentucky
• maybe doing 300 pushups this week (my arms and core have been feeling it) wasn't the brightest idea
• maybe i'm tired from workouts earlier this week?
  
• my sixth toe was extra weight
• the 90 cookies i ate this week may or may not have had some sort of negative effect
  

anyway. i know i pretty much hate 5k's. they're just too short, and feel like death. somehow i can handle a 7:11 pace for 13.1 miles no problem, but i would rather die than hold a sub-7:00 pace for 3.1 miles. i hate 'em, but signed up for one anyway. figured i might as well see what kind of shape i'm in, and i haven't had a chance to race since disney so i was itching to go.

uggh i feel so pathetic. now that i'm thinking about it, i hated myself after the last 5k i ran. maybe i should just never run one again...

mile 0.0 - (downhill/flat) oh this isn't so bad. glance at pace - 6:15. let's pull back. this feels pretty good. pace - 6:45, that's not too bad, oh here's that high school girl who was trying to show-off before the start, adios amiga. pace - 6:37, man i can't believe this feels ok.
mile 0.4 - holy crap a hill? this badboy is steep. i don't know if i remember how to run these. nope definitely don't. pace - 8:00, wtf! ok just push it up the hill but don't waste all your energy. why are you passing people? conserve! pace - still sucks. yeah your pace sucks but conserve! ok crested the hill, pace back around 6:40s, not too bad, that hill sucked though. wonder how it'll feel in a few minutes...
mile 1.00 - dude calling out splits knows my name (i'm so famous), not sure how though. 6:46, not too bad considering the beastly hill. ok this is starting to not feel good anymore. did i go out too fast? should i have eaten a real dinner last night? i was just too lazy to stop for food. maybe i should quit eating every sugary substance in sight 24/7... now there's a concept.
mile 1.30 - why did i think this was a flat 5k? what was i thinking. oh look, another hill. good thing i have been training along the flatness of the ohio river and holiday inn express treadmill. yeah that's probably really paying off. why did i sign up for this? less than two miles to go, i think i can make it.
mile 2.00 - still running uphill, this one is freaking long, but at least it's less steep. pace - barely in the 6:50s. no one is calling splits but the watch says 6:58. terrible just terrible. oooh a water stop (it was more for the half-marathoners at their mile 12) i could totally go for a cup of water maybe i'll stop. it's freakin hot out. i want to walk. this hurts. what's the fun in running hard. it hurts.
mile 2.50 - oh finally i think the hill is almost over. i want to walk. i should just drop out of the race. no, that's pathetic, it's only 3.1 miles you loser. once you get to the top of this hill it's flat to the finish. i don't care i just want to quit. my lungs hurt. my legs hurt. it's hot. i should've stopped for water. who's passing me? oh good, some dude. i'm ok with that. don't slow down, push it and keep up with him. use him as a rabbit. oh forget it dude, run on, i just want to drop out. maybe i drained myself on that first hill...
mile 2.80 - "oh is that the first female?" you spectators sound so confident in identifying my sexuality. thanks for the ego boost. if i can ever get rid of my buddha belly i'll run in a sports bra to make it easier for you. no point in looking at my pace, it sucks.
mile 3.00 - uggh i can't believe i have to go all the way up to that light and then turn for the finish. this sucks. i can't even pick it up for a finishing kick. my legs are tired.
mile 3.04 - oh sweet, i don't have to run all the way to that light. just turn and home stretch. come on fatty pick up the freakin' pace you are almost done.
mile 3.10 - i am never doing this again.
mile 3.11 - holy crap what did i do to my lower back?

brian, you win. whatever. i don't think i'll ever improve on my 5k like i want to.

splits:
[mile - pace, avg hr]
mile 1 - 6:46, 180
mile 2 - 6:58, 195
mile 3 - 6:51, 199
mile 3.1 - 0:30, 199

clock time - 0:21:07
overall - 13/358
gender - 1/200

my hr data looks normal for a 5k effort - almost maxed out, so maybe i did give it a good try. i didn't have anything for a kick. i don't know if that's from being tired/lazy or from leaving it all on the course. i'm leaning more towards not-giving-it-my-all at the end. i know i ran hard because i lost muscle control in the last mile, but still it's "not good enough" for me. (yeah i know, i have this issue with being too hard on myself, blah blah blah.)

i'm thinking that part of my problem is my super craptacular nutrition lately. today's "race" gave me the kick in the rear that i needed to get back on track. just because i run 40+ mpw does not mean i can eat 4, delicious, chocolate chip cookies every night. i hate counting calories but it worked for me in my training for disney and kept me honest about eating a variety of foods, so it looks like i'm going to have to start doing that again.

sorry for my excessive whining. winning a race is awesome, i just know that it wasn't a great effort on my part - i lucked out on the slower-than-normal field of competition. i'm hard on myself and disappointed that i didn't do a lot better. i really expected more from myself. i can't even get myself too excited about first-overall because when is the first-place female slower than 20-minutes?

anyway. this race quite possibly had the most awesome prize for overall winners - a free pair of brooks shoes! i just have to go by the local store and pick 'em out. i also scored two pairs of adidas running socks just by asking the guy at the award table. (then found out they were part of the raffle prizes, whoops, oh well). of course i have no photo proof of my "win" because as usual, i went to a race alone since i have no friends. (does anyone else ever go to a race where they don't know anyone? i seem to do this 99% of the time. including driving to south bend, indiana alone to run a marathon alone. who does that?)

i guess i'll have to keep running at least recreationally to enjoy my new socks and shoes.