when you're running down the road...

...and you can't control your load; diarrhea. diarrhea.

you see, i recently started a new round of stronger antibiotics for the lump in my mouth (that the root canal should solve, should i ever actually get to have it) and one of the side effects is...(drumroll)...diarrhea.

for the record, should you ever be prescribed clindamycin - strongly urge your doctor into a different antibiotic. perhaps one a little easier on the intestines.

ok, so i don't actually have diarrhea (thank god; knock on wood), but i have pooped 8 times in two days. i'm pretty sure that's not normal. my diet has remained the same, and since the antibiotics reference an increased frequency in bowel movements i'm blaming it on them.

i was supposed to run 14 miles today with 10 at threshold pace. as always, i was a little psyched out by the workout, especially since they haven't gone over too well in the past and i've been lacking motivation lately. the added #2 dilemma wasn't helping much either. i ran on the treadmill yesterday "just in case" an incident occurred (one did). i should have known better today than to head out on a 14 mile run with a bathroom located at mile 0 and 14 (it's an out and back).

pre-run movement, check. i thought i'd be good to go. i went out for my run and around mile 1.5 my stomach begins to rumble again. not good. luckily there's sort of a spot off the road just before mile 2 where you can at least be hidden from any traffic. i took advantage of that as it's the only opportunity to pop a squat in privacy. the road is otherwise wide open with the occasional tree. thankfully, there isn't too much traffic.

when you're miles from anywhere
and your butt just doesn't care;
diarrhea. diarrhea.

what do you know, at mile 3.5 my little friend returns. i decided i was not going to risk crapping my pants 12 times on a 14 mile run and turned around at mile 4. i figured i'd at least get in some threshold miles and told myself it's probably for the best to not go for the full monty since i'm obviously having issues with the medicine.

yeah... i had to stop a few times in miles 5 and 6 because i couldn't run fast/at my threshold pace and squeeze my cheeks at the same time. the "secluded spot" would be waiting for me at about mile 6.1; it was my only goal. i reached mile 6 and had to stop immediately to attempt a clench. (thank goodness this road has no traffic - c'mon you have to know what it's like to 'stand' there and try to use your entire body to keep your cheeks together. quite difficult.) i began walking to the spot, hoping and praying i'd make it.

when you start to beg and pray
and your butt begins to spray;
diarrhea. diarrhea.

i did not. at mile 6.02 i knew it was either crap my pants or drop trou on the side of the road. i went with the latter. i still had a 45+ minute drive ahead of me as i ran near work and not the hotel. again, thank god there is verrrry little traffic on this road! i never thought i'd be squatting on the side of the road, but now i can (proudly?) say i have. quite an experience; you should look into it.

you know you are a real runner when you don't mind hearing about other's emergency pit stops.

other than all the crap, the run went pretty well! i did 2.3 miles easy to warm up, 6 miles at threshold pace and .3 miles to cooldown. (0.3 miles from the car to the start of the road.)

the threshold miles went down like this:
7:32
7:31
7:26
6:38 - my butt-clenching must have prevented me from feeling the legs burning
6:59
7:12 - legs started to feel tired, could have been the incline or the fact that i ran the previous two miles too fast

since the road is marked every 1/2 mile i left the ol' nike+ at home. i've had a feeling it was wrong anyway on all my threshold days, and i've been in a slump over not hitting my paces and feeling so tired mid-run. so suck it nike+, i was right - you really are 'off'. the miles did not feel nearly as hard today and i am now more confident in my abilities to hit my threshold pace.

in nike+'s defense, as it has served me decently for the past year, it works fine for a "regular" run. it is calibrated to my easy pace/stride and those runs always match up when i double check the mileage on mapmyrun. it's downfall comes in when you speed up or slow down. i have assumed this for awhile because whenever i've worn it in a race or in a track workout it is never even close to the race distance. for example, it told me i ran ~12 miles at the disney half marathon. i'm pretty sure those officials had it measured out accurately. anyway, my nike+ went on the fritz about two months ago, and after today's run i am sold on purchasing a garmin. well, i would kind of like to try one first but i don't know anyone here who has one that i could borrow for a run. actually, i don't even ever see people out running period.