Monday, April 11, 2011

my 5k acceptance speech

[applause]

thank you! oh! thank you! i can hardly breathe! i feel so lucky! and this towel - it's so soft and plush.

[pause for more applause]

oh, thank you again! i just want everyone to read in the tabloids that even in my wildest hallucinations, i never would have imagined that this could ever happen to me. and to the other super-amazing runners, i want each of you to know how totally mega-pumped your competition makes me feel right now!

you know when they first told me i was nominated for a pr, i just had to take a xanax* and obsess about how generous my thighs have been. i guess it all just makes me feel kinda special.

you know, there are so many amazing stalkers to thank! first off though, i want to thank the esteemed timing company, who looked deep within their chip-timing system before granting me this fantastic pr! also, i want to thank my heart, for being so efficient at pumping blood through my body. and to the marlene with the heart of gold, who taught me to take speedwork by the balls. and finally, to my legs and lungs - i couldn't have done it without you!

thank you america, and good night!

[exit stage left to applause]


finally, after years of running 21's, i broke into the 20-minute range! i guess "failing" the 5k tune up workout was worthwhile. i chased the eventual winner for the whole race and closed the gap, but ended up in 2nd place by 10 seconds.

i am so proud of my splits: 6:36, 6:35, 6:47 (and 0:36)
well, i could've embraced the pain a little harder in the third mile.

saturday (4/10) race: 3.1 miles, 20:33 (avg pace 6:38)
(2nd overall, 1st place age group - hence the towel)

my sisters ran the 5k as well - all posting strong times for themselves! it's becoming a mini-tradition to get together for a weekend and run a 5k. hopefully they don't mind...

*i did not really take a xanax.

47 comments:

  1. BethApril 11, 2011 at 10:06 AM

    Wow, thats fantastic! Nice job on the PR and congrats on your win!!

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  2. ajhApril 11, 2011 at 10:14 AM

    You are VERY fast! Impressive. Love the speech. Is there a song coming?

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  3. Jess April 11, 2011 at 10:19 AM

    DANNNNGGG you are fassssttt!!! Congrats on a new PR!

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  4. Tri-JamesApril 11, 2011 at 10:20 AM

    embrace the pain, become one with the pain, be the pain ...

    Awesome speed - just race hard and enjoy it!

    CONGRATS!

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  5. fancy nancyApril 11, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    Wowzer girl you are fast!!!! Way to go!!! Love the speech...very moving!

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  6. Kristin BradfieldApril 11, 2011 at 10:43 AM

    Nice!!! Congrats!

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  7. chrisApril 11, 2011 at 10:51 AM

    Woot, woot! SO happy for you! You really needed this! Yes! You are back! This is a huge PR for a 5K. Next up, breaking 20! YOU CAN DO IT!

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  8. KandiApril 11, 2011 at 10:51 AM

    Congrats! Awesome race!!!

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  9. chrisApril 11, 2011 at 10:51 AM

    OK, Chris is Ana-Maria

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  10. StuartApril 11, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    Rockstar! Way to knock it out the park!

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  11. KathrinApril 11, 2011 at 11:06 AM

    *clapping* BRAVO, BRAVO!! *more clapping*

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  12. KevinApril 11, 2011 at 11:09 AM

    Whoaa!!! Wow!! Awesome, LD!

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  13. Runners FuelApril 11, 2011 at 11:14 AM

    WOW!! Great job!

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  14. JohannApril 11, 2011 at 11:33 AM

    Well done, that's a super time to run! I'm stuck on 21:14 as my best 5k time although this was not in a race but at a club time trial. Since I started running ultras many, many moons ago and since I was born many, many, many moons ago I am now happy to get under 30mins! Have a great week!

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  15. Mel -Tall Mom on the RunApril 11, 2011 at 11:34 AM

    SOO FUNNY!! Congrats speedy!

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  16. AllisonApril 11, 2011 at 11:44 AM

    Speedy McSpeederson over here! AWESOME job!!!!

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  17. GenesisApril 11, 2011 at 11:51 AM

    good job. frikking amazing time!

    you totally deserve a xanax now ;)

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  18. AnonymousApril 11, 2011 at 11:59 AM

    You didn't thank me. For anything. Not even for being the worst ever at mailing prizes!

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  19. Mile Posts by Dorothy BealApril 11, 2011 at 12:33 PM

    Congrats!! Impressive 5k time!!

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  20. MarleneApril 11, 2011 at 12:50 PM

    WAHOOOOOO I made the acceptance speech!

    Big honking huge congrats. SEE? I knew you were still speedy mcgee! You just had to tap into it again! (You're welcome)

    SMOKIN! Now I'm going to have to channel my inner lindsay this weekend.

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  21. JennApril 11, 2011 at 12:50 PM

    Oh, this is funny Lindsay! You totally crack me up!

    You didn't just break 21, you SMOKED it! Great job and that dang towel looks SO FLUFFY!!!! (OK-you don't have kids, maybe you didn't see "Despicable Me")

    Congrats again! GREAT race!! Now, sub 20 right:)

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  22. Glenn JonesApril 11, 2011 at 1:27 PM

    Congrats! This was almost as good as the diarrhea song.....

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  23. ShannonApril 11, 2011 at 2:38 PM

    Congrats lady! :)

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  24. KarenApril 11, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    sub-20... wha???? WOOOO HOOOO! Congratulations. :)

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  25. AnonymousApril 11, 2011 at 3:41 PM

    Congratulations Lindsay!

    All my love & greetings from Spain.


    I like your way Mrs. President!

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  26. GracieApril 11, 2011 at 4:00 PM

    freakin' awesome, congrats!

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  27. UnknownApril 11, 2011 at 4:38 PM

    WOW!!! Great job!!!

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  28. Questionably TexanApril 11, 2011 at 5:08 PM

    Congrats on a new PR!!! (and a new towel)

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  29. MarkApril 11, 2011 at 6:58 PM

    Yahoo!!! Way to go Linsay!! Turns out those legs recovered! Loved your post....

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  30. AnonymousApril 11, 2011 at 7:02 PM

    wooooooooooooot! congrats on breaking into the 20s :)

    you didn't thank me either. and i sent you a gel ornament and neon yellow scarf...where is the love?!

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  31. joyRuNApril 11, 2011 at 8:31 PM

    Wow. That's scary fast!

    Congratulations :D

    Now teach me how to do that (except I may not do too well with the embracing the pain bit).

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  32. Ironman By ThirtyApril 11, 2011 at 8:57 PM

    Congrats! 20's now, 19's in no time!

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  33. ThatGirlRunsApril 11, 2011 at 9:32 PM

    WELL DONE!!! CONGRATULATIONS! Soon you'll be chasing Kara for 26.2 ;0)

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  34. One Crazy PenguinApril 11, 2011 at 9:54 PM

    Look at you, rock star! Congrats!

    Now on to the 19's!!

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  35. MichaelApril 11, 2011 at 10:57 PM

    You are hilarious! Great job though!! Amazing!

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  36. Amanda@runninghoodApril 12, 2011 at 10:53 AM

    Awesome!! Okay, 20:34 right? This beats me by a good 10 seconds! You rocked it! Am I missing a 19 time?? You said at the end that you broke 20 minutes and I want to make sure that I'm not missing something else but can't see another time. Either way 20:34...rock on! So makes me want to get out there and try to break 20 again! My husband and I were laughing last night about how we really had no business (hill or no hill) running a 7:04 for our second mile on our last 5k if we were running 6:50's/7:00's in our half marathon with hills. So, we have something to prove to ourselves now but I DO NOT like 5ks typically. I"m thinking I have a new chapter in my life coming up whre 5ks will be fun though.
    Thanks for the inspiration. I love how even your splits are...way to be consistent and pace yourself!! My big thing is going to be to go out slower and maintain and then speed up at the end.

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  37. AronApril 12, 2011 at 12:25 PM

    SPEEEDSTER!!!! Awesome job on not only breaking through 21 but breaking through it by A LOT!

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  38. AmberApril 12, 2011 at 1:59 PM

    you pop that xanax. No judgment here.

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  39. AnonymousApril 12, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    Wow great time! Congrats on the PR and win!

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  40. JillApril 12, 2011 at 10:17 PM

    I think that means a sub 3-hour marathon in your near future!!! No pressure or anything. :)

    Congrats, girl!! Very happy for you!

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  41. UlyanaApril 13, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    HOLY CRAP, CONGRATS! you rock!

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  42. EmLitApril 13, 2011 at 6:23 PM

    Yay! Way to go! And I love your acceptance speech. That should win its own towel!

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  43. KatieApril 13, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    Awesome race! Huge congratulations! Love the speech too. You can write my marathon acceptance speech if you want..

    By the way, I do have a concept rower at home, and it was expensive. I believe on the order of $1200. Yes, seems crazy, but they are so awesome. My husband got it for me for our one year anniversary, so I've had it 7 years now. I don't use it all the time, but according the log I've logged over a million meters. That sounds like a lot...

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  44. AnonymousApril 13, 2011 at 9:25 PM

    I love that you manage both to pat yourself on the back for an AMAZING accomplishment and laugh at yourself. A big, fat congratulations to you!

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  45. SDrunnerApril 17, 2011 at 11:32 PM

    What a breakthrough, and you were only behind #1 by 10 seconds, awesome! I can only imagine what your acceptance speech would have been if you won the whole darn thing! Congrats!

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  46. JasonApril 20, 2011 at 4:37 PM

    Holy hot damn and speed batman. Way to go. You killed it. 10 seconds? That is nothing. You got her next time. Great job and the acceptance speech did not leave in enough time for applause.

    We will have to check with the speech writer on that and also you need to have a video with it.

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  47. Steel SpringsApril 21, 2011 at 4:45 AM

    Congratulations on the PR and the winning towel! Great acceptance speech.

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