my nyc pearl

week in review (6/22 - 6/28):
total miles: 53.7 (shorter than planned, but decent)
time spent running: ~7 hours 45 minutes
avg hr: 161.83
avg pace: 8:49/mile (avg temp: 84.8*)
off days: 1

two short days (~5 miles) and a rest day kept me from meeting my mileage for the week but i did beat last week. an extra 1.31 miles just barely counts as increasing.

sunday (long run day) was my first "quality workout" and since there are only two quality/workout runs per week, i realized i don't have that many hard/challenging runs in this program. i hope on those tough days i will be able to remind myself that i only have 36 workout-runs and there are no excuses to skip one or cut it short. afterall, it takes an irritant to get a pearl. [chris lear, sub 4:00]

i went out for a super easy run sunday evening to loosen things up and shake things out from my morning run, and also to squeeze in a few more miles for the week. the legs felt ok during and after the run, but monday morning they were quite disagreeable when i headed out for some easy mileage. i treated them to a dip in the atlantic after the run but i don't think the water is cool enough to really help. i'm hoping they're just tired from that quality run since it was the first time in quite awhile that i pushed myself.

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and so it begins

ooh boy, today was my first "quality workout" of nyc training. i was slightly dreading it this morning when i got up at 5-something. i've been running easy for about six weeks now, and the thought of breathing hard and having tired legs was psyching me out a bit. nevertheless, i laced up and hit the road around 6:30am. it was already 83 degrees and 75% humid, but it didn't really bother me. i knew i've already been running in warm temps for a couple weeks now and that i could handle it.

i'm following one of jack daniels' marathon plans from his book "the daniels' running formula". today i thought i may need to befriend the other jack daniels' in order to survive this training plan. sad, i've only done one workout so far.

today's workout was supposed to be something like - 15 minutes easy, 30 minutes marathon pace, 5 minutes threshold pace, 25 minutes marathon pace, 5 minutes threshold pace, 5 minutes marathon pace, 15 minutes easy. (yeah how am i supposed to remember all this? run with a notebook?) i ended up modifying it a little, but i'm telling myself it's ok because hey it is my first real workout-run in awhile. plus i ended up doing 7 miles at marathon goal pace which i feel is pretty decent for the first attempt. (right?)

my actual workout was: 2 miles easy, 4 miles marathon pace, 1/2 mile easy (thanks to phantom pee break), 3/4 mile threshold pace, 3/4 mile easy (lazy...), 3 miles marathon pace, 1.5 miles easy. really all i did was cut out the five minutes marathon & threshold pace and throw in a few minutes of easy running in the middle.

though i was overwhelmed before hand about hitting my marathon and threshold paces, i found myself hitting both of them without the imminent feeling of death. what a relief. (hey, i've been chugging along at close to 9min miles for awhile now.) the marathon pace was easier (obviously) to hit than threshold but i got a boost of confidence when i continued to clock marathon pace miles up until mile 11. maybe this won't be so bad afterall.

sunday (6/28) am run: 12.5 miles, 1:37:29 (avg pace 7:47), avg hr (173)

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homeward bound

i'm headed home for some r&r. today was supposed to be my last day (actually may 29th originally), but my position was extended in the eleventh hour. better than being sent to the house.

ahh the luxuries of being a woman working at a construction jobsite. this lovely facility comes with it's own padlock to keep the construction men and their bodily functions out. ladies only, all 5 of us. it's not entirely bad since there aren't many of us and it gets serviced every other day. i got 'trapped' in there once when the portajohn guy came to service them. i was going #1 and trying to text (the cell service around here is awesome) and then the thing starts rumbling a little (from the service truck pulling up). i'm thinking what the heck is going on? then i hear the guy opening the stall next door, a loud noise (the vacuum thingy), and begin to smell some not-so-pleasant smells. i gave up on the texting and got out of there asap. vomit.

some random life-on-the-road stats from the past three months:
~7,861 miles of driving (thank goodness i got a rental!)
85/93 days spent sleeping in not-my bed
7, maybe 8 homemade meals eaten
265 meals eaten out (fast food galore, and some o'charley's/applebee's/chili's)
7 pounds lost -- thanks to 505.65 miles ran (218.21 on the 'mill)

peace out kentucky.

just kidding... i'll see you again soon.

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sweet summer weather

i'm on a little streak here - 15 days running, for almost 115 miles. not too shabby. i'm pretty sure i'll be taking tomorrow off.

my runs from earlier this week have been alright, but today's run was wonderful. it was 91* when i began my run after work. that particular part was not amazing. i'm not going to lie, i wanted to turn around in mile 1 and call it a day. i've been exhausted lately at work, and almost didn't even head out for this run. as i was driving out of work, i realized i was feeling more awake and knew i'd feel guilty if i skipped the run. (i don't think it's a coincidence that i'm falling asleep at work but wide awake once i get outta there...)

anyway, i pressed on past the one mile mark. as i passed the same spot again about an hour later, i realized how much better i felt then vs. the start of the run, and gave myself some credit for not giving up early on. i headed north into a neighborhood and noticed the sky was getting a bit dark. i only had ~30 minutes left to go and figured i'd just pick up the pace a little to get through the neighborhood loop and head back to the car before the storm opened up. the menacing clouds blew in quickly, bringing an amazing breeze with them. the last half hour was so worth having ran the first hour in 91. the temp dropped to 72! gloriousness.

ok, so normally i'd probably still complain about 72* being warm, but this felt like air conditioning after sweating it out to 91. the wind was rather intense at times, but thankfully it did not start raining (or thundering/lightning) until i was safely in my car.

thursday (6/25) pm run: 10.25 miles, 1:30:35 (avg pace 8:50), avg hr (168)

only a half-day of work tomorrow! ...and then driving for five hours or so.

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a recap i can be proud of

week in review (6/15 - 6/21):
total miles: 52.39 (back on track)
time spent running: ~7 hours 46 minutes
avg hr: 160.66
avg pace: 8:55/mile (avg temp: 83.5*)
off days: 0 (or maybe 0.5, one day was a big 20 minute run)

finally, a good week. i think i realized that it was week 5/6 of phase 1 of nyc training and decided to get my butt in gear. my quality workouts start next week and will no longer have the luxury of taking every run easy. it's been kind of nice knowing i can head out and just run. well, technically i do have an easy pace but i wasn't really concerned about hitting it everyday. i'm kind of looking forward to harder workouts; i'm ready to feel like i do still have some speediness in me. here's hoping my legs, lungs and heart remember what it's like to work hard.

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you get what you asked for

the skies heard my pleas, and held their storms until later in the night for the remainder of the week. unfortunately, the evening rains did not lower the humidity or temps. from one extreme to another, it's been a hot, sunny and slow finish to the week. (at least i got to run outside though!) i justified my snail's pace with the heat. i've also ran 11 days in a row for 85 miles and maybe my legs are a little tired. i'm good at making excuses, though my mind isn't falling for them.

thursday (6/18) pm run: 10.10 miles, 1:30:54 (avg pace 9:00), avg hr (166), 81*
frustrating day at work; feeling quite ready to move on. needed a good "long" run to beat out some of the frustration. got holla'd at by some people in the ghetto area and honked at once. rrrrr.

friday (6/19) pm run: 6.62 miles, 1:00:34 (avg pace 9:10), avg hr (164), 91*
after running around town with the "traffic" thursday, i hit up my peaceful and quiet farm road. shade would have been nice. i felt each of those 91 degrees. a bit too hot in my opinion.

saturday (6/20) pm run: 2.32 miles, 21:44 (avg pace 9:22), avg hr (144), 87*
we all know i have issues getting out of bed on the weekend. i went on this "run" around 8pm... and it was still 87*! i didn't really need to run today because it'd push me over my mileage goal for the week (don't need to have too big of an increase from last week). the odd decimal places in my "lifetime mileage" have been bothering me and i wanted to even it out. j and i ran a super easy lap around the park. after laying around all day it felt good to do something, even if only for 20 minutes.

sunday (6/21) am run: 14 miles, 2:06:09 (avg pace 9:00), avg hr (163), 75*
let me add that it was 94% humid, so that 75* was not as pleasant as it could've been. running in sweat soaked clothing is lovely. i was wringing myself out every mile. yum. i took a pack of gu chomps to bribe myself along and attempt to put a little bounce in my step. a chick out for a bike ride offered me water somewhere around 9 miles, wanted to make sure i had enough. i thought that was pretty cool, and very kind of her. it would have been even better if she had offered to let me ride back on her handlebars.

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huge shoutout to stacey of rbr, working for that ironman title today at ironman cda! stacey is an amazing athlete. she's been training hard and can probably trump any workout you've done. in training for this ironman she climbed 93,984ft on foot and bike! she has a great sense of humor and her posts always make me laugh. go check out her page and leave her some luck!

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oh sunshine, where art thou

treadmill old friend, i know i have forsaken you for the great outdoors - fresh air, sunshine, a change of scenery and terrain, but can't we just get along? i've given you 27.35 miles over the past 4 days. why do you feel the need to try and throw me off the backend? four times no less? come on now, i'm not the laminator. although i'm only using you when it's convenient for me (/the weather is bad), surely we can make this relationship work.

monday (6/15) pm run: 8 miles, 1:06:19 (avg pace 8:17), avg hr (167)
tuesday (6/16) pm run: 7.2 miles, 1:03:53 (avg pace 8:52), avg hr (160)
wednesday (6/17) am run: 4.15 miles, 36:19 (avg pace 8:45)

thanks to conveniently timed thunderstorms everyday at 5pm, i've been trapped on the treadmill the past few days. on monday and tuesday i got in some sort of 'zone' and felt my feet rolling off the back end of the strip (3 times monday, once tuesday). i lurched forward each time and grabbed the handle/rail-things to keep from being tossed off.



hoping, wishing and praying for no thunder or lightning tomorrow. i can do rain, but i don't really want to be struck by lightning.

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small victories

week in review (6/8 - 6/14):
total miles: 44.20 (finally, 40+!)
time spent running: ~6 hours 25 minutes
avg hr: 164.33
avg pace: 8:46/mile (avg temp: 80.6*)
off days: 1 (busy, but acceptable)

as usual i spent part of the week in a funk, probably over the fact that i didn't run last weekend at all. i tend to get a bit moody when i don't run. just ask the boyfriend, he loves it. :) i tore down that barrier pretty well i think, and finally ran more than 40 miles for the week.

sunday, long run day, came around and i could not get out of bed. all i had to accomplish for the day was run and eat. challenging, i know! i lounged all day (glorious) watching too many episodes of law and order, and finally changed into my running clothes around 5pm. as my luck would have it, a thunderstorm had rolled into town. i already knew i probably wouldn't talk myself into the full planned distance (14-15 miles) but i knew i'd be happy with myself as long as i did something. i plopped my lazy butt (well, feet) on the hotel treadmill and ran while it stormed outside. i watched some more law and order, then house, and then the storm knocked out the tv signal so i was left alone in the sauna-gym with my thoughts. called it quits at 8 miles, good enough for me.

i'm ready for another good week of training. i'd like to (/need to) hit 50+ miles this week, and i know i can because i will.

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product review: adidas formotion running zone socks

back in april i ran in a local 5k and somehow came in first place overall. i scored a free pair of brooks shoes for the win, and sweet-talked a guy at the awards table into giving me a pair of running socks as well. (apparently they were for the raffle prizes, oops). actually, it was a pack of two pairs, even better.

formotion running zone cushion running socks by adidas

as with many of the new pieces of technical gear for our legs/feet, these socks are anatomically designed for each foot to "enhance the natural movement of the foot". i always wondered about that until i actually saw some "anatomical" products. i didn't know how one would tell them apart - all my socks look the same (since they're all plain white), none of this right/left discrimination. what do you do when the dryer eats one?

my feet are so not pampered at all. let's face it, i run. they're never going to be model material. i have been running in cotton socks that come like 8-pairs to a bag from walmart/target for ever. i never got the dorky running socks in high school like everyone else on the team because i didn't want a sock tan line 3 inches up my ankle. (the patterns/pictures on them were pretty fun though, i almost gave in.)

putting on cotton socks is not very exciting. they don't give an "ooh-la-la" feeling, but i've never had trouble with them causing blisters or retaining sweat/water so much that it bothered me. i've gotten blisters, but in my opinion the shoes have been the culprit each time - too tight of a toebox, back of the shoe rubs against my heel, etc. the adidas socks felt rather nice when i first put them on, but again, my feet have never been treated to such luxury. (well, other than my sugoi race + recovery socks.)

i took the socks out for a run after work thursday. it was 75*, breezy, and a storm was rolling in. i'm not sure if it was the socks, having taken a rest day wednesday or knowing i needed to outrun the storm, but i easily churned out 9 miles at a (once again) better-than-easy pace and decent hr. the socks felt fine the entire time, and the blister-tumor on my pinky toe (yes it's still there, though smaller) has not worsened since i've been running in "performance socks". perhaps part of that problem is due to my cotton socks, but it's on the inside of my toe so i'm not buying into that 100% just yet. the socks have worked well for me so far, and if they bring me a new pr i'll like them even more.

these socks retail for about $20.00 (for two-pair). you can also purchase them online from running warehouse ($14.95 with free two-day shipping).

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my old kentucky home

i've been blessed to partake in some scenic runs in my home-away-from-home, and i finally took my camera with me for my friday 9-miler. the road has gentle, rolling hills through farmland with the occasional tree. for your enjoyment, here are some pics of the sticks:

about a mile into the run
the mile+ visibility is not always the most motivating

shade!! i had to document this rare occasion

i didn't scare any cows today, but look at this cute little baby cow

this puppy dog followed me for a bit but he was pretty nice

more shade!
my favorite part of the run at about 3.5 miles

even hollywood lives in kentucky
well, has a home here anyway

some huge birds

our celebrity has a private 9-hole golf course

every half mile is tagged
(i've heard there's a saturday group run out here)

turned around, time to head back
another view of the golf course

two miles to go
see the tree line waaayyy at the back?
yeah that's where this road turns to the right,
you get to stare at it for over a mile
nope, still not there yet

thursday (6/11) pm run: 9.05 miles, 1:16:41 (avg pace 8:28), avg hr (167), 75*
friday (6/12) pm run: 9.30 miles, 1:21:26 (avg pace 8:45), avg hr (164), 77*

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dr. lindsay: sugar up for speed and drink water

the avid google reader-er that i am, i saw these two articles earlier this week in the nytimes. since the times are a reputable source, these articles must be 100% legit right?

m&m's are terrific pre-workout fuel and now i think i'm diabetic. (interesting articles, but not quite sure how helpful they are)

the first is self-explainable especially coming from me, and the second relates to those lovely visitors i get in the middle of the night. i've been having calf/feet cramps a couple times per month this year and trying to take a few notes each time it happens. i eat 1-2 bananas per day (although i am getting a little tired of them) and i'm sure i could drink a little more water but i don't think i'm doing that bad. so, this leaves me with my professional medical diagnosis of diabetes. scratch that, i need my m&m's; let's go with poor circulation instead.

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i slept through my alarm this morning (wednesday) and barely made it to work on time. nothing like waking up at 5:48 am when you have to be out the door by 6:00 am. luckily i showered the night before and i work on a construction site, so i was pretty sure i could get away with skipping my morning shower. i missed my chance at getting in a morning run (would've been on the treadmill anyway, blah) and had an evening full of plans, so i just took the day off. i'm behaving myself and not feeling upset about a "0" in the training log, but hoping i fair ok for the rest of the week.

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now or never - put in overtime

this song caters to my slightly ghetto side that i still haven't outgrown. i was jammin' out to it at work today while i had the pleasure of putting together a very exciting spreadsheet about each and every part of an induced draft fan. seriously, down to the washers. snooze.

anyway, it helped pump me up for a run today. i also took tom's advice from yesterday and just ran, ignoring my gadgets. i still wore my hrm and nike+ so that i could put the data on my spreadsheet. i'm a dork, i know. running spreadsheet = good; snoozelicious id fan spreadsheet = boring. (i taped my + back together for now, believe it or not there are no sporting goods store around. shocking i know.)

when i plugged in my data i was pleasantly surprised with a better-than-easy-pace easy run. i guess i have been focusing a little too much on my time/pace/hr lately and needed a good chill-out run. thanks for all the supportive comments yesterday!

tuesday (6/9) pm run: 7.2 miles, 1:01:49 (avg pace 8:35), avg hr (166), 88*

yep - 88 degrees, solid easy run, hr within the zone. by george i think i've acclimated.

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snapping out of it

i've been in a funk with life in general lately. nothing has happened, i just can't seem to snap out of this crappy mood. i've even considered quitting running recently. (gasp! the end of the world is near!)

last week's mileage wasn't as good as planned/hoped for, but my lack of sleep (5 hours/night avg) caught up to me and i threw my back out sneezing saturday. i'm not known for my wonder-woman immune system. i'm pretty sure it actually hates me.

i was so sore/achy i could not move on sunday. nothing serious, just that general heavy-eyes, want-to-lay-down, need-to-sleep, sneezing-nonstop feeling. so, i didn't get my long run in which caused me to fall quite a bit short on mileage. no problem i thought, i'll resume schedule this week.

that plan was fine and dandy yesterday (sunday), but all day today i could not get myself in the mood to run. i just wanted to go home (well to the hotel anyway - though home-home would be fine by me) and curl up in bed with my bag of m&m's. i ate an entire bag over the weekend (among a ton of other crap) so i really needed to run, i just didn't want to. i know i need to build my nyc foundation now in order to (hopefully) run as well in november as i want to, but i'm struggling a little at making myself follow through with that.

i need to buck up. asap.

the good news is that i did talk myself into a run after work today - it was only 4 miles, but i'll take it. i'm feeling 2% better (ok, maybe 72%), so thanks for not giving up on me running.

nike+ band on the other hand, no comment...

time for an upgrade?

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week in review (6/1 - 6/7):
total miles: 32.85
time spent running: ~4 hours 38 minutes
avg hr: 160.25
avg pace: 8:49/mile (avg temp: 79*)
off days: 2 (body/immune system rebellion)

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i'm a sinner

forgive me father treadmill, for i have sinned. it has been 14 days since my last treadmill run.

fourteen days! yikes! how did i go so long without a 'mill run? or really, how did i run so many days and miles on the treadmill when i first came to ky?

it was a glorious 57* today but alas, raining. luckily today's run was scheduled to be the shortest of the week, and i survived. i nudged the speed up past my easy pace 'cause i wanted to be off the old 'mill sooner rather than later.

wednesday (6/4) pm run: 4.25 miles, 34:47 (avg pace 8:11)

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about a week ago, i was tagged by matt at run, live & enjoy. matt is super fast, runs at least 10 miles a day, and is a better chef than i. he's still in college though so he just doesn't know what this mean ol' real world is like ;)

anyway, i'm supposed to "show off" my blogspot and share some intimate details. you all know what my life has been like for the past two months so i know you are on the edge of your seat to know where i blog from.

tada!

yeah you're jealous, i know.
mostly i get my computer-on here at the desk/table thing.
yes that's a jim beam brochure. ky is the land of bourbon afterall.

but sometimes i lay in bed. i love being in bed.

what are you wearing right now? old school hollister shorts (yeah i know, i'm too old), and long sleeve tee from chicago marathon '07

what’s the last thing you read/are currently reading? slowly making my way through 4:00 mile that i got from kristin of unathletic runner

do you nap a lot? not really, but occasionally my lack of sleep catches up to me and napping is all i do

who was the last person you hugged? the boyfriend

what’s your current obsession/addiction? long, hot (free) showers

what was the last thing you bought? dinner - grilled chicken salad, being healthy

what are you listening to right now? dave ramsey

if you could have a superpower what would it be? eat whatever i want without gaining weight

what time do you usually wake up? oh god. 4:30, 5:00. blech. hopefully not for much longer...

name one thing you can’t live without? family

what time is bed time? i try to enforce a 10:00 curfew on myself but i haven't been doing too well this week - it's been more like 11-12:00

if there was one place you could be right now where would it be? honduras

i'm sure everyone's blogspot is cooler than mine, so play along if you want!

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national running day - miles for mel

as i'm sure you are all well aware, today was national running day. i was concerned about how/when i'd squeeze in a run, but i knew i had to make it happen. after i read mel's post, today's run had even more importance.

initially i was going to get up at 3:30am and hit the treadmill, but unfortunately my legs could not get out of bed. (who celebrates national running day on the treadmill anyway?) i had dinner plans after work, but luckily i was able to shift that around and had time to run between work and dinner. it t-stormed on and off all afternoon, but cleared up enough for a run by 5:00. actually, had i ran at the other park nearby, my run would have been cut short by another thunderstorm. good thing i picked the hilly park today - it was just cloudy and breezy.

on monday i finally made myself do some squats and lunges; i've been long overdue. i only did 2x15 squats and 2x15 lunges, thinking i'd keep it short and save myself some of the doms that would inevitably follow. i was oh so wrong. my legs were incredibly sore yesterday and even worse today. my muscles refused to cooperate when i tried to start running today, so i took a 0.25 mile walk to help loosen them up and then eased into running. the walk was rather enjoyable though, the breeze was refreshing and i had a chance to soak up the scenery. i almost considered just walking, but i knew i needed to run for mel (and the holiday). the quarter-mile walk skewed the overall pace but oh well.

wednesday (6/3) pm run: 6 miles, 55:21 (avg pace 9:13), avg hr (156), 77*

i'm sure i've never thought 77* was refreshing to run in, but after hot runs on monday and tuesday it was quite welcomed. running around 6:00pm is not quite the coolest part of the day. mel, your legs were a little sore, but you can add another 6 miles to your total!

monday (6/1) pm run: 7.50 miles, 1:08:07 (avg pace 9:04), avg hr (159), 88*
tuesday (6/2) pm run: 7.05 miles, 1:05:23 (avg pace 9:16), avg hr (155), 88*

again, my pace is slower than normal but i think i am finally adjusting to the warmer temps. it's not as hard to keep my hr down anymore, and i'm hoping i'm not just practicing getting slower :)

good luck to those in the nyc lottery! (marathonman, just the distance, and anyone else!) hope to see you there in november.

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nancy drew and the case of the numb arm

may 2009 - month #2 in kentucky. moved to a new town, new hotel, new co-workers. started adding in long runs again to prepare for nyc training. almost half of the month's miles (60.17) were run on the lovely treadmill. began putting up with heat and humidity in the latter part of the month in attempts to get "used" to it sooner.

total mileage: 147.12 (30 miles less than april? what???)
time spent running: 21:27:06
avg pace: 8:45/mile
days off: 6 (none were really planned)
abs/yoga: 2 ab workouts / 1 yoga session
avg resting hr: 53.67
avg max hr: 182.45
pushups: 856

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i saw this article today on cnn and am wondering if it could perhaps explain the numbness i've had in the past. my left elbow/forearm/hand has become numb and tingly on previous runs, although thankfully i haven't experienced it since february. the article talks about talking on a cell phone too much and having your pinky/ring fingers go numb, but it also says the problem can be attributed to other repetitive activities as well.

the numbness is due to stress or strain on the "ulnar nerve", which travels through the forearm and into the hand. it becomes stretched when the elbow is bent past 90 degrees, which is fine for small periods of time, but can cause damage if done longer or more repeatedly. i noticed myself propping my elbow on my desk and holding my chin in my hand while working reading your blogs, and i'm sure this is a regular habit of mine. perhaps on those days when my arms/hands went numb it was from over-stretching that nerve, and then running irritated it further.

i noticed on my run today that my arms are pretty much always bent more than 90*. (i feel like my arm-form is normal though). it seems like the ulnar nerve strain is a plausible explanation since my numbness/tinglyness was along the part of my arm and hand where the nerve runs. i'm working on not propping my elbows as much and hopefully won't experience the discomfort again.

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bring it on

week in review (5/25 - 5/31):
total miles: 37.28 (all easy)
time spent running: ~5 hours 33 minutes
avg hr: 165.75
avg pace: 8:56/mile (avg temp: 74* and humid)
off days: 2 (lazy bum)

those two days off sure didn't help - had i not taken monday off due to pure laziness (i had the whole day off from work and i still couldn't make myself go run) or sunday due to more laziness (i did have to drive back from georgia though) i probably would've hit my mileage. i felt pretty guilty sunday but it was 9:40 pm and i did not want to be up all night from a late run. i knew i'd be hearing it from everyone but i just couldn't put on my shoes and go. i had a little breakdown sunday afternoon/evening, and i am rarely in the mood to run when i am all upset and depressed. my eating habits were straight out of the garbage can sunday, which of course did not help the situation at all. (ci ci's pizza anyone? barf. still not sure why i ate there.) i did eat well monday thru saturday though.

i'm just glad i decided to squeeze my 'long' run in friday evening 'cause i definitely didn't have the time or energy to squeeze it in over the weekend. perhaps the glasses of wine i had at my college roomie's wedding can count for the 4.75 miles i fell short.


here's hoping the remaining 22 weeks of nyc-training aren't all slightly-slacker weeks. feel free to hound me, i deserve it.

you can hate on my dress too - i tried it on because i thought it was ridiculous looking, then thought i kinda liked how it looked so i bought it. that stupid belt made my lower back hurt (not sure how as it was higher up my back) and i look like i'm wearing football pads in all the pics. i think that's mostly due to the fact that the top was a little too big but whatever.

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